What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He better not be in your backpack
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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