i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
