i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Randomize
