Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
