I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
