there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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