You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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