Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
