is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
