It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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