He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Pants 0. Shit 1.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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