please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
