the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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