i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
