I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
