Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just high enough for therapy.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
