lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize