When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize