new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
