therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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