It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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