Yo dont text me then not text me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
