i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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