I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
