I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize