This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
