I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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