They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
