Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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