Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
