You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
