There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
