around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize