no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
