If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
