Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
