this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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