rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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