worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
