tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She said her name was "party"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Also, beer. Big fan.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
