I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
