just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
