My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
