I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Your topless pictures make me question reality
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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