first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize