She's JV to your varsity
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
