he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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