You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
