He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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