I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
