Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my sisters under your porch take her home
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
