So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we're making bets on your personal life
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
