the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
