So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
