How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
