Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
