they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
