Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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