He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
