your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
