There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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