And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
why do cheetos always look like penises
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
