I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
