About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
