That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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